Living with an Attitude

The up side of having been impregnated by a woman, or rather, the down side, to use the vernacular of women, was that I was now invested in the world outside of myself with a new range of possibilities that were decidedly more negative in nature. In other words, my two weeks as a boy scout were fading fast. I now possessed an internal matrix provided by the woman within me that allowed for the natural consideration of negative behavior. In fairness to myself and other women, I should point out that the negativity of which I speak and which virtually all men and women possess, should not necessarily be considered a bad thing in and of itself but, rather, a necessary polarity that defines what we take for granted as the real.

As it turns out, I was apparently destined to be a very powerful woman. That is, I began to exhibit leadership qualities among my new friends as I became another one of the guys on the corner. I attribute these leadership qualities to the woman inside of me because of the particularly negative nature of the specific abilities and behavior that helped to define my new leadership role. For example, I was now living with a very definite attitude that I had not previously exhibited. Consider, if you will, my attitude towards fighting.

Before I was impregnated I had the physical strength and ability to take on 3 or 4 guys at once. However, in a fight where the reason is unclear to me my mind would quickly take flight to reflect on why I was fighting. This type of flight from reality could easily distract me to the point of getting my butt kicked by someone less capable than I. Now, however, if a fight breaks out, I don’t care what you think the reason is, I’m going to kick your ass and then I’m going over to your house and kick your daddy’s ass so you can remember my name mother fucker! This, then, is a perfect example of my newfound attitude. Ironically, the things at which I now excelled are commonly referred to as behavior that take balls to do. Think about this irony. I had to become impregnated by a woman in order to have the balls not to let anybody take advantage of me in a fight.

Having the ability to assert my own self-interest, even when the circumstances are unclear, is not the only advantage that I gained by being impregnated. I also became more of a doer than a witness to life passing me by. In the neighborhood where I was living most people were very poor. This didn’t always gel with the style and customs of teenage culture. Most of the guys that belonged to gangs, for example, wore a certain style of shirt called “Sir Guy’s” or “Pendleton’s” and used the same kind of grooming products such as “Three Flowers” for holding down our massive Pompadour hairdos. Unfortunately, we didn’t always have the money to purchase these items. My leadership in the neighborhood began because of my illegal act of shop-lifting that I once committed while I was alone in the store on the corner.

My mother had sent me to buy some things for the house and while I was there I happened to see a bottle of Three Flowers that I needed. Obviously, the woman inside of me wanted that bottle of Three Flowers and was intent upon having it. I then began to realize that the woman inside of me was not alone. That is, the man inside of me immediately left the scene for an emergency flight from reality and went to that place in abstract wonderland where he maintains an office to ponder the challenge of stealing the Three Flowers with refined skill and precision. I then decided to approach the store owner at the register with my mother’s list and asked that he point out where some of the products were located. As I proceeded to obtain the items from the different isles I noted that the store owner was no longer intent upon watching me because he already knew what I was doing.  When I got to the isle with the Three Flowers I simply took a bottle and put it in my pocket. After retrieving all of the items on the list I returned to the counter, paid for the products my mother had ordered and left.

At the time, I was not working from a plan to become a leader. As evidence of this fact, I completely forgot about the incident until Black Raymond expressed that he didn’t have any money with which to buy some Three Flowers. Naturally, the man inside of me, wanting to help others whenever possible, began to teach Black Raymond what he needed to know to steal the product. I instructed him on the timing; Wait until your mother sends you to the store and be sure to make her give you a list. I instructed him to let the owner see him reading the list but not to approach him. I even told him to take some items to the counter and ask if he could leave them there until he had located other items. The woman in me then proceeded to tell him that he had to treat the situation like it was no big deal and he had to have the balls to just take what he wants.

My lessons on stealing were not enough to propel me to my newfound leadership role. I also introduced the guys to a little activity I picked up while walking downtown on my own. I loved being able to walk downtown alone and go to the theaters to watch movies. Unlike the time when I would do this in my junior sportsmen days, however, the woman inside of me was every bit as sex crazed as Curley Tops herself. That is, I now wanted to fuck every woman I saw. The dreams of being a hero or looking up a girls skirt had vanished completely and a sense of unbridled lust apparently settled in my balls.

It all started as a simple accident. The crowd was thick and people were moving very quickly on the sidewalk of downtown Los Angeles when it happened. In the rush of pedestrian traffic I was forced into the rear end of a young and beautiful woman in her mid twenties and my hands were forced against the fullness of her ass. I didn’t know what to say or do but she quickly turned to see me and then she smiled and I could feel myself beginning to have a physical reaction of my own. The experience was so much fun that I immediately set out to perfect my technique for grabbing ass.

As a very willing student of the art I spent hours of uninhibited practicing. I quickly perfected the art of picking out beautiful young women from approaching crowds. My technique used in approaching oncoming pedestrian traffic while zeroing in on my beautiful prey as a pedestrian heading in the opposite direction was flawless. The angle of my sidestep and the timing of my arm swing were perfect for landing my hand right between the cheeks of her ass right where her legs part. I had no doubt that I was singlehandedly responsible for the creation of countless wedgies. I also very quickly became a connoisseur of ass grabbing as I realized that the thrill of the conquest was in the reaction of the prey.

Most beautiful young women in the early sixties would simply keep on walking and show no sign whatsoever for having been fondled from behind. The real thrill came from those women that would turn back and look at you to see who had fondled them. When they smiled it was wonderful. I also discovered that there is a danger to the sport of ass grabbing as well. If you happen to grab the ass of an aggressive woman that doesn’t like being handled without her permission she was likely to turn around and call you a name with a very angry look on her face. In most cases it would suffice if you played innocent, said you were sorry, claimed it was an accident and moved on your way. The true danger would come from fondling someone like Curley Tops herself who could potentially turn around, chase you down and cut your balls off.

The guys were fearless and couldn’t wait for the weekend to arrive so that we could all go downtown and I could begin giving lessons on ass grabbing. To be sure, my ass grabbing lessons solidified my role as a leader within the neighborhood. Naturally, it didn’t hurt that I was the only one that could spell “stomach ache” and write excuses for school. The guys grew accustomed to turning to me for advice and following my lead. The problem for me, of course, was that I still felt as if I were following the lead of Curley Tops and the woman inside of me. I wasn’t just living with an attitude any longer, I now wanted to fuck every woman I saw and this, to be sure, was a direct consequence of having been impregnated by a woman.